I’m stunned and saddened to learn of the end of Robin
Williams’ life. Death happens. I’m comfortable with that fact. It’s a
transition on a par with birth. We enter, and then we leave. We don’t get to
stay here forever. And philosophically,
I believe in a person’s right to make choices about how the end will look for
them. But still, when someone leaves unexpectedly, those of us still here have
to feel and deal.
The statement President Obama made about him reminded me of
my favorite of Robin’s movies, Hook. He did indeed make a “bangarang Peter Pan.” So many lush themes in that movie! Childhood
is precious and worthy of enjoying to the fullest. Giving of yourself to others
can change the world. Don’t discount those who seem to be absent or “crazy,”
for they sometimes have more wisdom than you give them credit for. We all have
fears that we need to face. Happiness is a powerful force.
I think I’ll spend some time on that last one. Happiness
makes people sparkle. It lifts spirits and faces and moods. And generally, it’s
not that hard to find things that bring a happy smile. Watch a kid with a
bottle of bubbles and a really cool wand. Even grownups sparkle to match the
fireworks on Independence Day. Your favorite song comes on the radio in the car
and all of a sudden irritation or anger melts into joy and you can’t help but
sing along. The thing is, these small things are fleeting, so you have to be
present and pay attention to experience them.
We go so fast these days. Sometimes it’s necessary, and
sometimes it’s certainly not. And sometimes it’s really hard to know the
difference. There’s this anxiety that rises up that tells us if we slow down,
simplify, mono-task instead of multi-task that we’ll drop an important ball
and tragedy will strike. What happens if we take some time off to intentionally
enjoy ourselves, or to dive into someone precious to us, be it a child or a
beloved? Yes, as grownups we have lives that require scheduling and planning,
and can be quite full of obligations and responsibilities. But those structures
we rely on for productivity can also help us make time for fun and happy times.
Once upon a time, I heard that we need three R’s to
counteract our busy lives: Rest, Recreation, and Relationship.
Rest – Get enough sleep, even if that means catching a nap
now and then if you can. Sit and do nothing. Meditate. Find a lounge chair by a
pool or on a deck and lay in the sun (safely, including sunscreen after your
Vitamin D needs have been met ). Light some candles in a dark living room at
night and listen to some good jazz, no analysis or conversation needed. Spend a
day flopped out on your couch watching a marathon of your favorite movies.
Recreation – Do something fun. Take a walk by a river. Go to
a movie. Spend an evening at a club dancing to fun music. Play some
racquetball. Take an aqua fitness class. Wander through a museum or the zoo or
a great garden. Soak in beauty. Talk to nature. Sometimes you can spell it
re-creation, and think about what you can do to bring you back into your Truth,
help you come home to your Self. Spiritual practice fits in there. Creating
art, journaling, or cooking some nourishing food for yourself also do.
Relationship – Call a friend or family member you haven’t
talked to in a while and catch up with them. Get together with someone locally.
Sit down and have an open and intimate conversation with someone who knows you
well. Plenty of options for physical connection exist, from hugs to massage to
intimate touching and sex. We all have a touch reservoir, some deep and some
not so deep, and different things we like to fill it with. But having that
contact is pretty much a biological need. We need our connections to others.
When time is crunched, it can pay to find things to do that
meet more than one of those needs at the same time. Meet a friend at that club
and go dancing together. Watch that movie marathon with a beloved, cuddled up
together. Take your child to the zoo with you. They’ll help you remember how to
play and have fun if you let them. Try to follow their lead instead of dragging
them to one exhibit after another. Let your imagination wander among the
possibilities, but do try to do something that makes you happy. It’s good for
you.
