When Therapy Works (Day 3/30)

Birds flying high you know how I feel

Sun in the sky you know how I feel

Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel

(refrain:)x2

It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life

For me

And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel

River running free you know how I feel

Blossom on the tree you know how I feel

(refrain)

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know

Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean

Sleep in peace when day is done

That's what I mean

And this old world is a new world

And a bold world

For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel

Scent of the pine you know how I feel

Oh freedom is mine

And I know how I feel

When you've faced down what scares and shames you. When you allowed yourself to truly Feel the residue of things you thought you'd left behind you long ago, When you've cracked yourself open, both to yourself and to your trusted therapist, and gotten to know areas of your Soul/Psyche that you might not have even known were there when you started on your journey. Then you may find that there come times where you feel a grand spaciousness open up inside you. You can run with confidence through the field and not worry about tripping into landmines. You can gaze up at the sky and feel its largeness reflected in your Being. You look in the mirror and see the sparkle that you arrived in this lifetime to share with the world looking back at you. Love blossoms in you, for yourself and the world you live in. It's not that the pains you suffered cease to exist, but they get to become badges of honor that tell you what you've lived through and grown from. They are the darker threads that weave through the tapestry that is you, providing a contrast that lets your gloriousness shine all the brighter. You finally feel at home in your skin, secure in your place and your worth. You are unique, special, powerful, with amazing contributions to make to the world and your fellow travelers. Go be that! Go do that! 

A Season of Change

It's happening everywhere. Seems like everyone I talk to these days has big changes going on in their lives. Someone is getting married. Someone else has a child leaving the nest. A couple builds a new house and moves into it. New jobs are needed and found. Companies are bought and reshuffling happens. Kids learn to swim and ride bikes. Parents and grandparents receive diagnoses that change ways of life.


All these things are going on all the time these days, faster and faster it seems. It gets hard to keep up with, and it can feel like you're drowning or being run over by life. The question came up in my mind recently, when I was going through a similar flood, as to whether I needed to speed up my own pace in order to accommodate life's new speed, or if I should relax and release into the faster flow that was presenting itself. A beloved responded to that discussion by saying "Option B seems much less anxiety producing." He knows me well. I tend to feel anxiety as I try ever harder to remain in control of circumstances that many times are decidedly out of my control.


It's a tricky question sometimes. Is this something I have control over? Or am I trying to take control or responsibility for something I can't or have no business taking control over? The answer shifts and changes just like everything else. Individuals seldom have a say in whether the company they work for changes hands. But they do get to choose whether and when and where they get their resume out. The weather does what it will do on a wedding day, but the people involved get to decide on back-up plans and wardrobe choices for the day. You may not have anything to do with how many obligations land in your lap at any given time, but you do have at least some degree of power over how you take care of your body and emotions while you rise to your challenges.


For all the times I talk to clients about these things, where they can find and feel their power and thus counteract the helpless feelings that the onslaught of changes can bring, I need the reminder myself many times. Today I took time to meditate for the first time in a couple weeks. A daily or nearly daily practice does me worlds of good. It's simple, takes very little time, requires no gear or money, and goes so far toward keeping my head straight and my emotions on an even keel. I remember how to do that releasing thing where I let go of striving to hold onto control or go that one notch faster to keep up. There's no reason in the world I can't do it regularly. It's totally in my power to make it happen, no matter what other circumstance or challenge is rolling through my life.


What can you do for yourself to handle the changes and surprises that you're being handed? Is it possible for you to release your grasping for control that's not yours to have in the first place? We're all in this season of change together, after all. You're not alone in the struggle.